I don't wanna be fat anymore!

So, let' s start this by being honest. I'm fat. Very fat. The medical community calls it 'obese'. I call it 'too much awesome in one place that ran out of room.' Whatever, i'm fat. Last March (2011), i clocked in at 340 lbs. On a 5'8" frame, that is a problem. A diabetic, achey joint, high blood pressure, tired all the time, sort of problem. I can blame it all I want on bad genes, being taught all the wrong eating habits and aliens, if I wanted, but it all doesn't matter. I made some bad eating choices.... a lot. And no amout of blame will make anyone else fix it, or get me some magical pill. It's my problem. MINE. So I decided to fix it. 

It started with meeting my boyfriend, a wonderfully hilarious, nerdy, wooly, bad joke cracking, behemoth of a man (6'6"). And somehow, our weirdness complemented each other. And he wanted children. Lots of them. That posed a problem. I have PCOS, poly cystic ovary syndrome. PCOS causes weight gain and prevents weight loss. It also makes you mostly barren. It has been known to rectify itself with weight loss, but that can be difficult (one of my many excuses over the years). So I decided to ask for help. I went to see my doctor. I told her, "I'm fat, help me." So, she did. She set me up with the nurse and dietician who works out of her office. The end result was to send me to a clinic for the morbidly obese, but they had to prep me first. The clinic required 6 months of pre submission care before they could send a referral. That meant 6 months working with the nurse and the dietician to adjust medication, change eating habits, and start exercising. So it began.

My Nurse is one of the most wonderfully caring people I have ever met. We instantly had a connection (remember the awesome part?) She reviewed my medication and health history, switched up some medications and sent me off the see the dietician. Now this woman was wonderful in a different, scary, ' don't mess with my diet plan' kind of woman. My first meeting with her scared the pants off me, and I knew she would be just the person to keep me on track. She went on a rant about 'healthy' food brands and names and how they mean squat if you don't read the label. I agreed with her, but was too terrified to do anything but nod, and interject with the occasional 'i know.' I handed over the 3 day food log I had been given as homework, worried about how my life would end in the next 3 minutes, and the state of my underpants. But I survived. As soon as she opened the book, it was all business. Good, informative, life changing business. She made small changes to what I was already eating, and suggested new foods I needed to add. She gave me portion tips, flavour tips, what to do when I get hungry. I was inspired and ready to rock. I left with more hope than I had ever had about my weight. Change was coming. I wasn't going to be fat anymore. 

This was me in Hawaii, March of 2011. 340lbs. (We went to a shooting range, I usually don't carry an assault rifle.)